


Hate and Love, What's the Difference to Us

by DragonAesthetic



Category: LEGO Nexo Knights
Genre: (by American standards), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Begging, Canon Compliant, Comfort Sex, Drunk Sex, Falling In Love, Friends With Benefits, Gay Sex, I fucking tried at least, Keep Clay away from me I'm horrible to him, Love Confessions, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plus things changed, Redid the description because I'm incredibly indecisive, Underage Drinking, mentions of one sided Clay/Jestro, they are both portrayed as 18-19 here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 09:06:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12362370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonAesthetic/pseuds/DragonAesthetic
Summary: Clay realizes he's getting too vulnerable around Lance but it might be too late for him to stop now.





	Hate and Love, What's the Difference to Us

_The first time we had sex we were both drunk. I left while you were asleep out of embarrassment. I apologized and you brushed it off and said we never had to talk about it if I didn't want to. It was just a dumb mistake, we’re still teenagers after all, no matter what everything we do can't always be perfect. Even if we try our hardest to be perfect._

_The second time I was depressed and desperate. We had already promised to not talk about it but I knew I couldn't keep it. After what almost happened to the kingdom and what Jestro said to me I felt numb. I needed to just be reminded that I was still alive. Apparently I'm not very good at hiding my emotions because you held onto me the entire night and told me everything was fine._

_The third time you were depressed and thought you were the worst, I figured I owed it to you for being there for me. Even you don't deserve to feel worthless because of some all show knight and your father. I didn't let go of you all night and told you could never be replaced._

_The fourth time we thought we were going to die, it was a heat of the moment. I had already trusted you this many times, why not do it again? At least one more time. We both held onto each other and talked until you fell asleep. Then I stole the book and brought it to Monstrox. I felt guilty for leaving you. For some reason, you forgave me. Even though I betrayed everyone in the realm for the safety of one person who doesn’t even feel the same way about me._

_The fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth had no reason what so ever. We just couldn't stop. I went to you twice and you came to me twice. Neither of us wanted to leave at that point, I know. You complained when I got up, but it couldn't be helped. We still have our duties. That's why even after you bothered me all morning, not wanting to leave my room, not wanting me to leave your room, I made myself leave._

_That’s why I think we should stop._

_At this point, it's usually just a short greeting before we push ourselves into the room so we could feel our skin against each other again. You make my skin burn and I hate how much I love it. I hate how much I love when you bit into my neck and leave marks for days. I hate how you smile when I'm begging you to pull your fingers out and just push your cock in me as far as you can. I hate that you moan my first name because it makes me wish you'd use it more instead of my last name or the insults you come up with. I hate how you always say how much you love how flushed I get and the fact that you actually looked up what a sex flush was and proceeded to read the entire Wikipedia article out loud to me. I hate how we just talk like we’ve always gotten along after we've had sex. But afterwards we put on a show to reassure the entire kingdom that Clay Moorington and Lance Richmond definitely still hate each other. But we give each other that look. The look that knows we're pretending, and within the next few days we’ll be ruining our sheets again because we just can't stay away from each other anymore. I hate how I just know you're going to point out how it's weird of me to keep track of how many times we've slept together. You’ll say I can’t help it though. Because it’s me._

_But out of everything I hate about you, the thing I hate the most is that I love you._

_Despite all of this, despite everything before this, somehow, somehow I’ve fallen in love with you._

 

Clay looked over his confession. It was long, too long. He’d reached the character limit for a text a long time ago. He didn’t care though. He needed to write everything he was feeling down no matter what. Even if he had to cut and paste his message to notes because he couldn’t just say “We should stop this relationship”.

Maybe later he’d just delete it.

Or go to Lance and shove his phone in his face and say nothing while he reads it. But he didn’t like the idea of what would happen afterward.

He didn't want to start thinking about it again too. He had already spent too much time thinking about what could happen. He aimlessly tossed his phone to the side and stared at his ceiling until he started to feel tired. He hated the idea, but he'd deal with it later. Somehow.


End file.
